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Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Kayak

Er... I kind of didn't get my ABC Wednesday K post organised when I should have... better (almost too) late than never?
I had a weekend/week recently where I decided to go kayaking on the lake during the hot air balloon festival that is on every year, because I did that one day last year and it was fun :)
I got up and went on the Saturday, but the balloons didn't fly ("too foggy") so I had fun paddling around for a while anyway... and found a Geocache on a post out in the water :)
I went again on Sunday and not only did the balloons fly, but it was a glorious Sunrise, and a nice day... until I was up the other end of the lake (finding another Geocache and just generally having fun paddling) and it got windy... so I had to paddle all the way back into a headwind, in chop that felt like I was in a washing machine - lol - but I actually quite enjoyed the workout :)
I decided to go out again on Tuesday... but again - no balloons... "too windy"... wasn't too windy on the water at first, so I decided to do the "Whereigo" Geocache on the lake (one that involves playing a geolocation based game, where one uses a GPS (or an app on a phone with a GPS :) to navigate to various virtual checkpoints in order to proceed through the game and eventually find out where to find the Geocache :)
Good idea in theory - But it involved paddling up the lake into what had become a rather strong headwind, and chop... but I was having fun and enjoying the exercise again - so I kept going... and was already rather wet by the time the rain started. .. I still kept going... had to wait at one stage because a rescue chopper was dropping and retrieving training dummies right ON one of the checkpoints - lol
I eventually finished the game, but the B£%%€¥ Geocache was missing - lol - but it was a fun way to spend about 10 hours out on the lake... lol
The photos are (I think) all on the bottom, and this post may or may not look weird... and I think I am going to have to publish it then edit it to add link... (oh - maybe not - just noticed I can do that in the app :) because I am doing this on my phone... because that is where all the photos are... lol
I also went kayaking again yesterday... on a different lake this time... but I would Like to save that for a Lovely L post :)

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Just because?

... Ok ... What to post for ABC Wednesday this week?
Something for the letter J ...
(Which I wrote most of a few days ago, and finally am posting Just in time - lol)
I know ...

Joy?
... Because it is about time for a happy post ... rather than rambling on about my mental health issues ... except to say that I think I am now on the way to getting better :)
(although I think it is going to be a long slow process ... sigh)

... They say the best way to get better at something is to practice ... and I need to get better at being happy - so this weekend I went and did some fun things to see if I could - and I think a few times I may have even got the hang of it for a while :)

but ... A lot of them involved going and paddling my Kayak, and I plan to do that again sometime this week - so that can be my K post next week - although that is not totally why I decided that - I also came up with another idea for J:

Jewellery?!

... Yes - Jewellery ...

not what I expected to be posting about either :)
... but I kind of ended up fiddling around with beads and thread/cord and making some jewellery ... which some people would probably call beady dangly junk ... but I had fun, and I like what I made :)

Why?

... Why did I end up playing with beads when I have half a dozen quilt tops to finish, something I am in the middle of crocheting, and another weird/arty quilt I have started and kind of want to finish ASAP?

Well ... long story (long for most people, short for me - lol)

I think the idea started when I had seen adverts for fidget toys and stuff, while reading  blogs/etc about Aspergers/Autism, and then my daughter sent me a text message with a link to a rather ugly looking new/different version of something I had seen a while ago, called a fidget cube, and she told me I should buy two - one for me and one for her - lol ... and I decided to have a search online, to see if I could find the nicer looking one I had seen ... I found all sorts of interesting stuff ... there seems to be a huge variety of things one can buy for Autistic kids (or adults) to fiddle with - twiddly things, spinny things, clicky things, squishy stuff, and even chewable necklaces ... all being advertised as good for Autistic people or kids/adults with ADHD/etc anyone else who liked to fiddle with something to focus their thoughts or whatever ... 

... pity things were different when I was a kid - I used to constantly get told off for fiddling with things on my desk in class - but it was how I used to focus/concentrate, so I always fiddled (despite the fact that I got told off, and teased, about it) ... but when I went to school, nobody knew what an Aspie was ... 

er ... where was I? LOL

anyway ... I got to thinking, and figured most of the fidget toys were a bit weird/ugly, and/or expensive, and the jewellery looked tacky ... and I was also thinking about how fidgeting to think was probably not really a new idea - "worry beads" have been a thing since way back whenever ... 

and then I had a creative idea - why not dig out some beads and do dads and make myself a fiddly thing/worry beads type thingy ... but then I thought a bit more and thought of the idea of making a bead and string/cord bracelet, kind of like the ones I see surfies and hippies wearing - and it can double as an item of jewellery, and something to fiddle with ... and being something that can be worn - then it would be less likely to be lost/misplaced (by someone like me, who would be rather likely to put a fidget cube/etc down somewhere and forget where :)

... not that I ever have trouble finding something to fiddle with (key rings, rubber bands, drawstrings/cords on my clothing, hair (even when it is an inch long I can still fiddle with it :), my earlobes, my fingers, whatever is in my pocket - I remember at least one stressful conversation I had at work recently where I spent the whole time with one hand in my pocket, totally shredding a tissue and rolling all the shredded bits up into stringy bits of mess - lol) but ... but it was an excuse to dig out some beads and stuff and get creative ... and who knows - if I ever get organised maybe I can make some to sell or something - lol 

This is the first one I made ... using some wooden beads and string ... I am not sure I like what it looks like, but I did like the idea, and how it worked (I kind of invented the way it does up, by fiddling as I made it :) 



... so I decided it could be my prototype and decided to dig out some more beads and thread/cord/whatever and make another one ... but I kept finding beads I thought would work/look good with this or that thread or cord or whatever ... and I couldn't decide - so I threw several options in with my sewing stuff and took it to Monday night quilt drop in ... and spent most of the evening fiddling around (and stuffing things up - some of the beads had rather small holes and I had to make the cord thinner, and I kept threading things the wrong way/order or tying knots in the wrong bits before I put beads on - lol) and ended up making this one with a lot of dangly bits and small glass beads ... then I finished it at the "Wonderful Wednesday" quilt meeting (a monthly meeting which I don't usually get to go to, but have been going to while I have been off work).



... did I mention I like beads, and dingly dangly things? :)



Then I was on a roll, and at the Wednesday afternoon drop in (after the other meeting) I decided to make another one, and ended up making a more formal looking one with a matching necklace:



... this one was a lot quicker to make - lol
I also plan to make some earrings to complete the set - once I remember to dig out the other packet of those gold feathers and actually FIND where I put the earring hook things that I think might still be in a box ... somewhere ... 


After that I realised that none of them looked like the original idea I had in my mind ... so I dug out some more wooden beads (plain ones, and smaller than the first lot) and thread and made this one:




... which actually looks something like the vague idea I originally had :)




This is what it looks like on my wrist:



 ... and it is the version I might make some more of? 

"For those fidgety and/or stressed people who bought a fidget toy and immediately put it down/lost it somewhere - a hippy style bracelet that can be worn anywhere, and fiddled with if needed ..."

Just a bit too weird? lol

More Junk?

Or ...

Just what someone is looking for?



btw - feel free to copy my idea and make one of your own - not that I could stop anyone doing that if I said not to ... 

And ... I went to Friday quilt drop in before I got around to posting this, and now I have another one:


... I got a bit carried away with beads and dangly bits :)


Oops? :)

Oh - they also make good cat toys :)


At least my Son's kitten thinks so - lol



I am here dog/cat sitting while they are away overnight ... my dog plus their 2 cats, and 2 dogs ... it is a zoo here - lol (but there is wifi :)
Thought I would take this photo because it shows how this one (and some of the others) can be adjusted so different numbers of beads can be at each end ... or, in this case - opened right up into a tiring of beads for a cat (or person) to play with ...


This brings back memories of when the ex and I had cats - I have taken lots of photos of small items I have made with said items ON one or other cat - lol


Friday, March 10, 2017

Inside My Head?

I can't decide what to post about ...
... for my ABC Wednesday letter I post :)

Incoming!
(Everyone hide - here comes that weird Andrea person again - lol)



... but at least I now know I have a reason for being weird - lol
(See previous post ... and/or just read the rest of this one :)

Individual?
Yep - I am often referred to as being "one of a kind" ... but I now also know I am one of the one in 79 (or what other number it is - varies depending where I read it - lol) people who have the same reason for being like that :)

Indecisive?
Yes ... don't think I need to say any more considering the first line (which was going to be the title until I changed my mind :) of this post? 
(actually I think I have read something about how having trouble with decision making can be a problem for Aspies ... I still have a lot of reading/etc to do ... lol)

Intelligent?
Yes, apparently I am ... when I was in year 6 at school everyone in my year did an IQ test and the teacher told my mum that I got a very high score (as in the highest they had ever seen!?!) ... not sure it did me much good though ... lol

Insecure?
Also a very big yes ... sigh ... for most of my life I have had a very low self Image ... another common thing for Aspies, I believe ... also not helped by spending half my life married to someone who did nothing much to encourage me, and a lot to "put me down" ... sigh ... 

Inconspicuous?
... Nope - definitely not me ... even if I tried to, I am not ... probably why I gave up trying hide and pretend I was normal, and just kept on being me ... despite the fact that I am often thought to be some kind of an idiot ... lol


Indigo?
No, nothing to do with me/who I am - lol - just a nice colour and an interesting plant, that is fun to dye fabric/etc with :)

Imagination?
Yes, I have one ... I have been known to hide in there - lol
Sometimes it is a good place to be, but sometimes it isn't ...

Insensitive?
I don't think I really am, or at least I don't Intend to be - but it has been said about me ... because I can say the wrong thing/be a bit blunt ... that one is definitely an Aspie thing ...

Inspiration?
I find inspiration in all sorts of places ... and who knows, maybe someone might even find some inspiration here in my blog ... or if not, then maybe just something to laugh at, or shake their head in bewilderment at, and be glad they don't think like me - lol

Inside my mind?
er ... that is a rather strange and scary place, especially at the moment - lol

I tried to depict the inside of my mind for a "self portrait" quilt challenge a few years ago:





Insight?
Hmm ... something I find a bit confusing actually ... probably (later correction - DEFINITELY) something I need to fix/improve? lol

but maybe I am getting there?
Or maybe not?
Here is something I wrote the day after I wrote most of last week's post:

I am still totally confused, and rather overwhelmed, and still have the stress issue (probably mostly something called "adjustment disorder" with some anxiety/depression/etc thrown in there just for fun :) so I still have a heck of a lot of stuff to sort out with the psychologist ...
... but now, at least there is "a light at the end of the tunnel"
Unfortunately, with the way work have handled things so far, and the way things have affected me differently than intended/expected (mostly due to me being an Aspie and neither me nor them knowing), I have a sneaking suspicion that the light at the end of the tunnel probably IS an oncomming train! - but at least I now know that I can get off the tracks and flatten myself against the wall and most likely avoid being totally crushed by the slow moving steam engine of "normal procedure" and/or totally entangled in its load of red tape :)

Insult
... The only way I was able to interpret the email I got from work the other day (after I wrote most of this blog post, including the bit just above!)  ... probably best not discussed here though ... not yet ... not while there is some vague chance that certain people might actually realise/be told that they are still not doing things how they should, and actually do the right thing ... 
Later edit: Which looks like they are now doing :) 
... and I probably interpreted said email the wrong way anyway. (although I also have a suspicion that until they got the last medical certificate from my doctor, stating what he has been treating me for, and what needs to happen with me doing a "gradual return to work", I don't think they realised that I do actually have a mental health condition, rather than just a doctor who was happy to write certificates 
I have also since realised I do seem to have got a few things muddled up in my mind - probably yet another mis-communication/brain fart (and lack of aforementioned Insight?) on my part - where I seem to have got myself totally tangled up with some (wrong) idea and totally mis-understood everything ... something which I now realise is a result of this next thing I had already written:

Incapacitated
... Yes ... kind of frightening actually, because I have just realised (after writing the rest of this over the last week or so) that at the moment I am very much so! 
Seems that between the Aspergers and the stress, and the stress making the Aspergers affect me more - I am misunderstanding/confusing more stuff than not, with the work issues ... and have had totally the wrong idea about how things are meant to work, and what everyone needs to/can do ... and even about things I have talked about with people (although probably not really helped that I actually didn't know much about all this sort of stuff, and have not really had anyone who has sat down with me to explain it all) ... ahrgh- the knots my strange brain and I end up getting myself tangled up in!

Edit: I really should add a link here, to some information which I am SO glad I read, because it has been extremely helpful ... because it explains a lot about at least some, if not all, of the issues I am having :)

Why do the words "Aspie Jelly" keep popping into my mind?! ... my brain doing weird things with words ... another Aspie thing? ... I recently saw a tweet about Aspic Jelly ... (which unfortunately I have not eaten for years, but know I used to really like) ... and I kind of feel a bit like a wibbly wobbly jelly at the moment ... or like maybe my brain is ... 
oh well ... guess I can keep it filed away with all my other weird thoughts and ideas, in case I ever need a name for another blog or a title for a post' or a name for a quilt, or something ... 
hmm ... now there's a thought ... 

*brain wanders off into the distance, whistling (out of tune :)*






Is it too weird?



I think I have tweeted quite a few tweets that start with those words, or "Is it weird that I...?" or something similar ... my answer to the question is usually "yes - it is weird, but too bad - I AM weird" ...
...and yes, I did write a catalogue description for a quilt I had not even designed yet, let alone started making ... thought of the title first - yes "Aspie Jelly" that I mentioned earlier in this post :) and then wrote the description ... and figured I can work out what to make, probably using some particular scraps of fabric that I fished out of the "free to a good home" bucket at the Canberra Quilters room ... I started the quilt the other day ... not sure if I will get it finished, but if I do - it will be weird - lol 
(and if you look at the date on that tweet - yes - I wrote a lot of this blog post a week or 2 before posting it :)

I guess now I know WHY I am weird - yes - I will still call myself weird, and I am usually quite happy to be called weird - to me that word is a compliment ... I AM different, and I always will be ... and, from a very young age, I have always known I was ... and I had kind of accepted that, because I knew it was just how I was, and that it wasn't ever likely to change (because I wouldn't still be me if it did), and I knew that there were some things about being whatever sort of different I was, that were good/useful (eg creativity/etc :) or at least made me laugh - and I liked that - and because I knew, and had come to accept, that I was different to everyone else I knew, I think I was quite happy to be proud of being weird :)  ... I still am - but now - I know why I am different ... 
(but I still like the word "weird" lol)



And one more ... could also be an "is it weird that I think that...?" 

Irony:
Is it just me that finds it ironic? (or ammusing? or something ...) that Aspies tend to think about things in "black or white" terms ... and Aspergers is definitely NOT a "black or white" condition?! ... hmm - no wonder I am so confused right now?!??

Interesting ... yes - oddly enough, while I am finding all this stuff a bit frightening, I am also finding it rather interesting ... which makes it a bit less frightening, I guess ...

Oh - and in case anyone is getting too worried about me - yes, I have a lot going on in my head, with all the work situation/stress disorder/Aspergers diagnosis/etc ... but oddly enough - apart from that, I am actually feeling sort of ok (at least most of the time ... I have ups and downs, but I guess that is to be expected ...), and also doing some things I enjoy, because they are just what I need to de-stress (in fact I am quite happy that my psychologist has told me I should go to quilt group, and go Geocaching - lol) ... yes, it is still an uphil climb, with a long way to go - but I am hopeful that the view from the top is going to be fantastic :)


And another ...

Imagine:
Having a stress disorder (which I currently do) affects things like "executive functioning" in the brain and so does Aspergers ... and both those things make each other worse ... no wonder I am so confused ... and functioning so badly (in some ways) right now! 
So ...
If anyone else is feeling confused when I talk/write about all the stuff going on in/with my messed up brain, and is having trouble understanding it - imagine what it is like for me, inside my head, trying to make sense of it all WITH that same messed up brain!

Wednesday, March 01, 2017

How to be me?

How To Be Me? ?! ???
It seems a bit odd for someone to still be learning something like that at my age (54), but for the past few weeks I have been seeing a psychologist, and (an expensive!) specialist in order to do exactly that ...

I posted about my mental health (some of the things I have been through in the last few years, and the work/etc problems I am now having) 2 weeks ago - here
... it was my ABC Wednesday letter F post :)
and I also came up with the title, and a plan, to post this for the Letter H

... because I kind of knew that by now I would have one more answer, and one more part of the puzzle that is me:

On Monday I had a third visit with the not so cheap doctor ... I paid to go and see this particular doctor because he is one who specialises in Autism Spectrum Disorders ... Yes - I have suspected I may be on that spectrum for a few years, but had not realised it could be affecting me so much, so had dismissed it as not particularly important ...
But, after discussing things with my psychologist, and her having sent me to discuss things with this doctor - now I know it is important, and I needed to know for sure - and it is now official - I have been diagnosed as having "level 1 Autistic Spectrum Disorder" - otherwise known as Aspergers ...
(There is also a heap more info here :)

So ... as odd as it sounds - I can now say I have been diagnosed with an incurable condition, but I am Happy about that!
Yes - Happy! ... How can that be? - to me (and from what I have been told - most people who get diagnosed with Aspergers later in their life), it means that instead of being a "normal" person who has had a heap of problems with things, I now know there is a reason I have had many (most?) of those problems - because i am an Aspie! (and/or because I didn't know I was one).
... and although Aspergers is/can be a disability, it also kind of isn't (and it doesn't qualify me for NDIS funding or anything like that, because it doesn't impair me from being able to live a normal life or mean I would require support to live normally, etc, etc.)
Aspergers is often now described as a different way of thinking, that a fairly large number of us have ... and it is often said that in some ways it is also a gift ... and yes - I guess it can be ... being creative and quirky etc is a good thing (sometimes - lol) ... I LIKE being weird - this is who I am - take away the Aspergers and I would not BE who I am ... I would just be some normal person, lost in the crowd ... probably happier, but boring - lol
Oh - and one other thing (that I found myself saying to my Mum) - I am not going to use Aspergers as an excuse (for doing/not doing anything I should or for problems I may have or whatever) - it is not an excuse for anything - it is a reason, not an excuse.

Apparently, I also need a textbook to study this subject of "How to be me" - lol - the doctor who just diagnosed me has suggested I buy this book ... I might buy it, but for now I have got (and already read :) the free sample that Amazon sent, and have requested to borrow a hard copy from the library (they don't seem to have it as an ebook ... but I have not actually borrowed an ebook before, so I might be doing something wrong - lol).

But now ... I still need to do something about the other half of the problem I currently have - being an Aspie explains some of the how's and whys of things, but I still have to sort out the mental health issues I currently have - the stress/etc thing that has resulted in me being away from work ... probably "adjustment disorder" or somesuch ... on top of a messy snowball of stress and some depression ... but at least now I know a bit more about what makes me tick, and why I had at least some of the difficulties that contributed to the stress/etc - I think I am now mentally in a far better place - and hopefully I can now get the right sort of help, and I feel more confident that it will actually help ... and I now feel a whole lot better about myself, and more able to come to terms with the fact that I have "fallen apart" lately - I now know that it is not because I am weak or useless (apparently poor self image is a common problem for Aspies, and definitely has been for me!) - I now know there is a perfectly logical reason for it, that I didn't know was affecting me that much, but now I do - add being an Aspie, and not knowing about it, to all the other stuff - and it is no surprise that I have fallen apart (in fact the surprise is that it didn't happen sooner and/or worse?) - and I am now going to be a lot better equipped to pick up the pieces and put them all in the right places - so that I can, hopefully, end up being a lot more happy about myself and my life than I have been ...

Actually, a poem I wrote, quite a few years ago (before I got quite so stressed/etc in the last few years) comes to mind ... and I think it kind of applies to me now :)

I looked at life the normal way,
And didn't like what I saw,
So I looked at life the other way,
And now I enjoy it more.

Except maybe I should change the word "other" to "Aspie"? LOL

... So now I just need to learn a whole lot more about Aspergers, and being an Aspie, and I also need to keep working with a psychologist (with that and all the other mental health/stress/etc stuff) for a while - and learn HOW to actually BE who/what I now know I am :)



Hopefully I will get around to posting to my blog a bit more often again now ... Hopefully about a few slightly more normal things, and/or not so normal but not so freaky things ... and also maybe a few more things about my journey into the uncharted territory of my mind, and how I am going with finding myself and learning how to be myself ... (and possibly something about what ends up actually happening when I go back to work - which could be a strange but possibly interesting process, which apparently needs to involve a "rehabilitation provider" and a "graduated return to work" ... which all kind of makes it sound serious and scary, and confusing, but hopefully means things will have a better chance of actually going well for me ... unlike the start of this year, when I tried to go back with no support at all, and things just got worse than they had been)

I am still feeling rather confused, and possibly a bit overwhelmed - have felt like that for the last few weeks, which is probably quite understandable considering what I have been going through :)
Who knows where this weird journey of my life will actually take me next - could be ... interesting ... and quite possibly frightening at times ... but knowing what I have already been through at times during my life, and some of the things I know I have inside my weird mind - strange and frightening is something I am probably already quite used to :)

Oh ... and I am probably already tweeting a bit too much about some of this stuff? lol (oh well - my followers (all 1 or 2 of them? :) will just have to live with it - it is kind of rather important to me at the moment, and what I am busy sorting out/doing ... so of course I want to tweet about it - lol)

... The mind of a "stressed out" Aspie is a rather strange place ... Confusing, scary, and - oddly enough - I am also finding it quite interesting - lol

The other day I found myself saying that I have a whole universe inside my mind - and it made me laugh - because, in a way, it is true ...
Beam me up and go to Warp 9 Scotty! - I need to explore the universe :)



... In the meantime, I will just explore a few more odd corners of Canberra :)


Sunday, February 26, 2017

Going Geocaching

Ok ... A slightly more fun ABC Wednesday post than last week :)
... Well - it is something I do for fun (and to de-stress :) ... I GO and Get lost finding things - lol
This week the letter is G
G is for Geocaching ... 
"What is that?" - well - I have heard it described as "using expensive satellite technology to find Tupperware hidden in the bush" ... and yes, it kind of is that, and more ... For those who want to know more, www.geocaching.com is a good place to start - you can read all about what it is and how to do it, and if it sounds fun - sign up and start doing it ... there are also phone apps for it too (the official one is probably the easiest to start with, but there are others that a lot of the more experienced cachers prefer ... although even more of those who have been into Geocaching for a while prefer to do it with an actual GPS unit - which, back when it started about 17 years ago, was the only way to do it :) 
(For those who don't know - GPS stands for Global Positioning System ... and it is what has made it possible for people to do all sorts of things, from finding your way to the nearest coffee shop with a maps app on your phone, or navigating your car to a meeting, locating where you are if you are out bushwalking or 4 wheel driving in the middle of nowhere, and playing online games that involve Geolocation - like Ingress, and Pokemon Go ... And ... Geocaching :)
I actually just use my phone to go Geocaching ... I decided I could afford an expensive GPS, or an expensive camera, or i could just buy a not so cheap phone that does all 3 of those things (and more - lol)
 ... it works ok for me ... 
I am now up to about day 319 in a row, where I have found at least one Geocache each day :)
... I am planning on making it at least 366, possibly more ... but it gets harder as I go because I can only find each one once and I am running out of them close to home ... but there are plenty to find if I go driving - there are about 3000 of them here in the Canberra area!

Who hides them? - anyone who wants to :) 
... preferably someone who has found a few, so they know what they
 are doing.
I have found over 1000 now, and I have hidden a few too :)

Why do people do it? Probably for as many reasons as there are people who do it ... To get fit, get outdoors, because they got bored and decided to try it, for something to do with the kids, for something to do to get away from the kids, for something to do while travelling, for something to do as a reason for travelling, etc.
Me? - because I got curious and read about it, decided to go looking for one, and had fun doing that and was instantly hooked ... I liked the challenge of finding them, and the fun of going to all sorts of odd and interesting places to look for them - some places I had been meaning to go to but had never got around to it, and some places I never even knew existed! I like going walking to find them - either around town, or walking out in the bush ... Has been a good way to keep fit and active, and a good way to de-stress/keep myself sane ... I think I used it as an escape when things were going pear shaped with my marriage, and as therapy after my now EX husband walked out ... and it has been good therapy/relaxation/de-stressing with the other issue I have been dealing with lately (the one mentioned in last week's ABC Wednesday letter F post )

Who goes Geocaching?
Chances are - someone in your family, or who you work with ... all sorts of people do - kids, teenagers, young adults, older adults, even some very old adults ... fit people do it to keep fit, unfit people do it to get fit, I know several people who take their dogs to find all those that are hidden where dogs are allowed. I don't know the exact reasons most Geocachers I know do it - I just know they have fun :)
I have found it to be quite an inclusive pastime - I have met Geocachers who have highly paid government jobs, low paid jobs, no jobs ... can be, and is, done by all ages and abilities ... I have met little kids who do it, and Great Grandmothers ... i have also met quite a few deaf people who Geocache, and at least a couple of autistic people, and a couple of people in wheelchairs - yes there are some Geocaches that are wheelchair accessible ... there are also some that are definitely not - like a couple I have found up in the tops of trees! 

Where are they? 
Sign up, get the phone app (or get a GPS, and upload some from the website) and go look for one - lol - chances are there is at least one nearby - they are everywhere, all over the world (there are over 2 million now) ... there is even one up on the International Space Station ... I really want to go and find that one, but somehow I doubt I have much chance of ever doing that ... sigh ...

Usually, I go find Geocaches by myself, but sometimes I go Geocaching with someone, or a Group of people ... sometimes I take my dog, and the other day I took my Grand daughter ... and one evening I even had a bunch of curious cows come with me!

MOOving right along ...?


Thursday, February 16, 2017

Falling Apart?

... and putting myself back together again :)

Yes - rather a strange title for a post, and rather a strange post for ABC Wednesday ... but I figured it was about time I started blogging again, because it is Fun ... and the subject/title Fits the letter F ... so I Figured I may as well risk Freaking everyone out and post about this ... er... stuff I am posting about :)

For a while now, possibly even most of my life, I have Felt, at times, a bit like I was a Failure ... after the last time life as I know it sort of Fell apart (when the person I had been married to for 25 years decided to just walk out without even discussing it) I was a bit of a mess For a while, but after that I Felt a bit better, and thought I was Finding myself ... Figured I was starting a new life, Found and bought a new house ... but then I still Found myself stuck in the same old job I had been in For way too long ... and I was not happy. I thought I would be Fine once I Found a new job ... but that kind of wasn't happening ... and then Finally, "the wheels Fell off" ... I had known I wasn't totally happy (but I was still having Fun doing a heap of things I liked ... possibly too many things? lol) ... and I knew I Felt a bit stressed and stuff ... but what I didn't know was that I had also probably been depressed ... I do now ... also realised that I possibly had been stressed and depressed for quite some time ... but hopefully that is now something that can be, and is being, fixed - now that I have Finally got the right sort of professional help ... which eventually happened this year, at the end of a rather long and messed up process involving my workplace, after I Found myself in the Fairly Frightening situation of getting in trouble at work, because I was so stressed/etc that I was no longer able to do my job properly - and so my world kind of Fell apart ... again (that was toward the end of last year - about when I wrote the last blog post, actually) ... but now that I am Finding out a Few more things about what makes me tick, I Feel that I will be Fine again in a while, when I have Finished Finding out about myself, and can then Finally Find myself :)

This is not meant to be a depressing post - things are a bit Freaky at the moment but I will be Fine :) 
- I am on a journey, and although I ended up on a Fairly rough road again For a while, hopefully I have now Found Four wheel drive so I can get over it, and will get a GPS to keep me on track to where I want to go, and I can be a "happy camper" again :)

... maybe I should have called this post "Finding Myself" ... but I might save that for next round, when I have Found out a bit more about myself, and what direction this bumpy road is taking me - lol
(one thing I do know, is these kind of things take time ... as a certain shampoo advert says: "It won't happen overnight, but it will happen" lol)

... Hmm ... who would have thought I would be blogging (or even talking) about Mental health conditions and myself all in the same story? ... and maybe I am a special kind of weird, telling the whole world about this stuff? ... but when I read somewhere that "in Australia, it is estimated that 45% of people will experience a mental health condition in their lifetime" - then I think it is something that SHOULD be talked about more often ... who knows ... one of the 2 or 3 people who might ever read my blog posts might read this and think "I wonder if this is my problem" or "I feel depressed" or " I am a bit stressed" and be wondering "do I need help?" Or "should I get help?" ... yes - you probably should! (if you seek help and find out you don't need it - is that a problem? ... but if you don't get help and did need it - that might not work out so well ...)
Maybe I should do "Help" for my H post? - lol
(in the meantime, just do a search for "stress" or "depression" or whatever - there is a lot of information online ... almost too much ... )

and yes, I know - I am kind of talking in riddles, and might not be making much sense ... I am sure I have mentioned this before: I am weird ... lol

In the near (ish?) Future, there might be a Few more blog posts about my Feelings and things, depending how I Feel about things - lol

 ... and hopefully also a Few posts about other, more Fun, things ... like maybe next week, for the letter G, I can talk about one of the Fun thing that has sort of helped keep me sane For the last Few years - Going Geocaching :)

(but don't panic if I don't post next week, or even For a Few weeks (months?) - I am disorganised at the best of times, and my busy life might get in the way - so I might not have time to write that post - in which case I will have to do that one next time around :)


One more F thing:
#foundit 
... If you search for that on Twitter, you will probably find a heap of my tweets (and quite possibly other people's tweets as well) about Geocaching :)

...now "eff off" and go read a more interesting "F" post :)

Unless you want to look at this Funny photo of me First - lol
(One Mum recently sent to me, scanned From the Family album, taken when I was Fairly young)



Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Er... Oops?

Yes, I am still alive...  Just realised it has been almost a year since I posted here. ..  I really must fix that...
I have kind of been busy... Working at a job I have been doing for way to long, going Geocaching to keep sane (insane?)...  Seems to be my current  way of practising "mindfulness" (last year it was kayaking, and taking Sunrise photos while doing that...  This year I seem to have somehow got in to finding at least one Geocache every day since just after Easter ... Not sure how many days I am up to now - I have a backlog of logging to catch up on  ... Not just my usual disorganised - the last few weeks has been due to not only limited time to log, but also limited phone data/internet - I just had a 3 week holiday on the North Island of New Zealand (travelling around with my parents, in a hire campervan... And having baths in buckets - lol)...  Got a local sim card with 1GB of data to play with... Used some of it for email and the odd look at Facebook and Twitter, and to tweet a few photos... And used most of it for finding Geocaches... Or using the listing's for geocaches that are at places we were going past/to to find things to see and places to camp for the night - lol
I thought I might find 5 or 10 caches the whole time I was there but I found one or more (about 8 a few times) every day - lol
But... Now I am home... and back at work... and life kind of sucks again... sigh...

Thursday, October 29, 2015

A Peculiar Post Pertaining to the sale and Purchase of Property

Oh ... I just noticed that my Previous blog Post was also a P Post for ABC Wednesday - lol
... which means 25 letters have snuck by while I have been busy! - oops?!
So what have I been busy doing? ... er ... a lot of nothing much, some kayaking, a few other fun things, and ... a whole lot of sorting out and packing etc, and selling a house that belonged to my EX husband and I, and finding myself one of my own :)
Finally got said Property on the market about 3 months ago, and eventually found someone who liked it enough to buy it ... and in the meantime, while the agent was showing it to Prospective buyers, I was going and looking at all the Places I might want to live, and what sort of Property I might want to buy (unit? house?), and which Particular ones I liked/wanted to buy if they were still around when I had sold the other one ... Oddly enough, the weekend after finding a buyer - the Perfect Place Popped up on the market ... and I am now in the Process of Procuring it ... just waiting for the last bit of legal stuff to happen - the day the other place officially becomes the Property of the People Purchasing it, the new place becomes mine ... well - apart from the half the bank will own ... sigh ...
Hmm ... not sure if I really have any Photos Pertaining to this Post, but Perhaps I can Procure one ... ah this will do - I actually Pinched this Photo from the sales listing online ... So you can see a Picture of (what will very soon be) my Patio - lol



Anyway, time to go ... I only had time to Post this because I had a spare hour between finishing work and going to a Public lecture on a topic I am interested in (sciencey stuff :) ... then when I get home from the meeting I have more Packing to do ... the downside of moving house - actually MOVING all my stuff - lol




Monday, May 04, 2015

Perhaps I Should Post Something?

I am Particularly Pleased with this Panorama :)


... and when I thought that to myself, I thought "I wonder what letter Wednesday ABC ( http://abcwednesday-mrsnesbitt.blogspot.com.au ) is up to? Perhaps I could Post this there? - if, Perchance, they are up to the letter P soon" so I looked, and what do you know?! - that is the current letter - seems I almost missed it, but looks like it will still let me Post, rather than waiting until next round - lol
(It has been a Preposterously long time since I have Posted to by blog ... I seem to be too busy doing stuff to get around to blogging about it :)

Hmmm ... was hoping the Blogger app had improved ... seems not a lot ... Sigh ... is still flakey, and still won't let me do stuff like make bits of text into hyperlinks (if the Blogger app worked better, I would Possibly blog more often :) oh well ... I wonder if it will actually Publish this Post for me? lol

btw - the Photo was taken on my iPhone, Paddling around in my kayak on a Particularly Pleasant evening (yesterday)

Edit: logged in on a work computer to do something, decided to check what this post looked like while I was here ... added the hyperlink the app wouldn't do for me, noticed the Panorama Photo doesn't fit on the Page ... at least not on my screen - so you will Probably need to click on the image to see the whole thing ;)
I also edited my Profile - a couple things in there were a bit out of date ... funny that ... lol

Monday, June 23, 2014

Where the ... whatever ... am I?

Warning: W is for Weird? ... and this post sure fits that description - so read at own risk?! LOL 

Why was this STILL in my drafts folder? (dated some time in 2011 ... !!!) 

Why didn't I post it the first time? ... or the second time when I added stuff? ... oh yeah - because I wanted to add a particular photo that is home on the computer, that is not connected to the Internet, and I keep forgetting to go find it and put it on a USB or my iPad or something so I can add it when I am online somewhere - lol 

Why don't I just post it anyway?

Why not? - I can add the photo in the next few days ... IF I remember to go find it - lol
... then again ... I can Wait a few days, then try and remember to post this as my W post, seeing that is What Wednesday ABC is up to next ;)
Of course I might not even be able to find the photo ... seeing I am not sure Which one it Was or When (or Where) I took it ... but I guess if I can't find it, I have plenty of other photos of Wattle, and Webs ... or something else W related ... lol

*saves post as draft ... yet again*

*logs back in ... several days later, on my phone*
ok ... not quite too late to post this for W this time around ... just remembered I had not posted it ...

Oh yeah - I was going to find a photo or 3 to put in here ... 

Well - this one Will Work - I took it this Week - a Wet Web, spotted While Walking the dog in the fog :)


Rather Wonderful, isn't it? :)

Ok ... Time to post this ... OH poop! - I still need to make those URLs into actual links 

*does lots of stuffing around with web browser and copy and paste etc. and gets annoyed because blogger app on phone does not do stuff like make text into links*

Ok ... Added A URL after one of the bits I actually wanted to make into links ...it might show up as a link in the blog ... if not, I will fix things next time I am online on a computer, if I remember - lol

Anyway ... 

The rest of this post is what was already in here before I added the ... Not so ... little bit at the top:

... and Why have I not been posting any Wednesday ABC posts?

hmmm - I Wrote most of this about 6 months ago ... not sure Why I didn't post it at the time though ... probably got busy and didn't get around to logging in and Whacking it up here in time to put it in the Wednesday ABC linky thingy ... so I Will have to see if I get there When it is time for W again - Which it Will be a couple of Weeks after I am typing this bit ... Which I am doing now because I found it when I was looking to see if I had a half Written T post saved as a draft ... I actually didn't, but I do have one that I started, that Was going to be S and T ... but I just posted my S one for this time around ... but I have Thought of at least one idea for IF I get Time to do a T post This week, which I probably won't anyway ... so this Weird W one just might be the next one after the S post I just posted - LOL

Well ... maybe I should just lose the first word of my blog title and call it "too late, as usual"? ... I have written several Wonderful ABC Wednesday posts ... in my head! LOL

(yes - that still applines now, as does the bit below ;-)

... but I just don't seem to have found time to actually get my act together and actually Write and post the darn things. Often it has been because I have been too busy/side-tracked to even get around to putting the photos onto the computer, let alone into the blog posts they Would be perfect for ... and some of those posts are the ones Which I have started Writing last time around and not finished ... others are just stuff that has happened more recently but I have not even started Writing them because I know I am not going to have time to add the photos in time to get my link into the list ...

Luckily my U idea mostly fits into W, as does my V idea ... Which was actually the same as U anyway (yes - I found a way to make it fit U, V and W - LOL)

I Was going to post about Unusual things ... and most of the Unusual things were going to be photos I took of stuff that has happened due to/in the Unusually Wet Weather ... Which is Why it could also have been a V post - for Very Wet Weather - LOL  ... so now it might, providing I actually DO get said photos ONTO the computer, become a post mostly about ... Wet Weather - LOL

... or maybe not ... I might just save those for some other time - there is probably going to be enough other Weirdness in here already - lol

now ... What Was that other idea that I also thought of? ... not Weather related, but something I just thought of While putting some other (even older) photos on to the computer (I only had about 6 memory cards full of photos that I have not put on here yet!) ... it Was the reason I decided to start typing this post now, before I have actually got the photos ready to Whack in here ...

Well of course I remember ... it was this photo of spider Webs on some Wattle:

hmmm - I Wonder Where that photo Was ... I might be able to find it again, if I can remember When I took it ... (my photos are filed in folders, named according to the year/month I took them in)



... Which I took While going for a Wander in the ANBG (the Australia National Botanic Gardens ... actually that link points to more than just the gardens ... they have all sorts of botany/etc information on that website)
Actually I think it might be the Wattles that I Went there to see ... they had a display, Where they got one each of as many species of Wattle as they could and arranged them all in their "family tree" to show each one was related to each other one ... or something like that ... a bit Weird ... but interesting.


While I am here ... this afternoon I spent quite a While playing with GIMP (some free software, for editing/etc images, that I downloaded/installed last night)  ... and, among other things, I created this Weird Wiggly thing:


... Which, hopefully, WILL Wiggle ... if not here, then maybe try clicking on it to go to the full size version - which is already active online (yes - even before I post this - because blogger sticks them in an online album as soon as I upload them), and it seems to be working fine ...
It is an animated .gif  - another result of my messing around with GIMP when I probably shoudl be doing other stuff - LOL
btw, it Was part of a picture of some trees against the sky ... lol

Thursday, June 12, 2014

V is for Vegetables, Vegemite, and a Very long time between posts?!

Hmmmm ... got an email to say I had a comment on a blog post ... comment was only spam (telling me my post had "good information" *almost falls of chair laughing* and a dodgy looking link to some website - lol), but the post was an ABC Wednesday one ... so I had a look to see what letter that was up to, because I figured I probably ought to post something so all 1 people who read my blog know I am still alive :)
I also had a comment that wasn't spam ... which is how I know at least one person actually does still look at my blog - hi Grasshopper :)

OK ... The letter V eh? ... Not sure what I would post about for that, maybe I should wait until next week? 
*stares into space, notices Jar of Vegemite at back of desk* ... Hmmm - I am a bit hungry!
... So I got up and made a couple slices of Vegemite on toast, so I could post a photo ... then I ate the toast, because it was so yummy ... and had to make 2 more slices so I could take the photo! LOL
(Which was fine, because I was still hungry ... in fact I am contemplating making 2 more slices after I finish typing this! :)

Anyway ... Here is the photo:

Vegemite is rather strange looking stuff, and in many people's opinion strange tasting ... It is a yeast extract, that has a kind of beefy flavour ... And it is Famous/infamous as that weird stuff us Australians eat ... and for being either Vile, or Very yummy - depending on your taste :)

Re the "What is your most/least favourite Vegetable" question - I like all Vegetables - in fact I even liked Brussells sprouts when I was a child! (and still do :)

Also on the subject of blogging, and the letter V - I am slightly disappointed to notice Blogger still don't have the WYSIWYG post editor as part of the iPad app ... sigh 

*saves post and heads off to find a computer to log on to ...*

... and gets side-tracked somewhere in between the 2 more slices of toast and some work stuff and then having to leave in time to go to a gym class, and doesn't get around to logging on to a computer until 23 hours later - LOL
The links are now added, and a couple of typos fixed (but I am sure I missed some ;)

I really should post more often, but between life still being a combination of busy and things still up in the air, and my only internet access being my phone, and work (lunch time and/or staying back after knock off time), and wherever else I can find free wifi, I don't seem to get around to things like blogging as often as I want to ... then again - even when I did have the internet at home, I still wrote way more good blog posts in my head (while out walking the dog or Geocaching or something) than I ever actually wrote on my blog!

Anyway ... time to log off from this work computer, get out of here :)


Tuesday, March 11, 2014

How can it be ... ?!

How can it be ... This long since I have blogged?

How can it be ... This late in the year already?
How can it be that Canberra has now just had its Hundred and first birthday? - only seems like the other day I was at the party for Canberra's 100th
How can it be ... Almost a year since my Husband decided to be Horrible and walk out without even discussing it with me? ... just decided, by Himself (and, He admitted - with some Help from His friend!), that we would be Happier apart ...
How can it be ... that I am still waiting to find out what I am now going to do with my life?
... I was Hoping that something would Have Happened by now ... But I am still "Hurry up and wait" ing ...
However ... Life goes on ... Happy mixed with Horrible, like most people have (just some have more or less of one or the other than other people do and different amounts of each Happen at different times ... if that makes sense :)
This post is probably not very exciting reading, but I figured it was time I Hopped in Here and posted something ... because I just Have to try and post something every now and then ... so the world ... Or all ... er ... 1 or 2? ... people who read my blog, know I am still here :)
Hmmmm - my original intention was to post about all the interesting things I Happen to see or do ... AND post something for ABC Wednesday every week ... Oops? (ABC Wednesday is up to the letter H ... but the linky thingy seems to have closed in between when I looked a Half an Hour ago, and typed most of this on my iPad, and when I then Hopped onto a computer to edit before posting, because the blogger app won't let me add links in my post ... and I Had to include a link to ABC Wednesday so u can all go there and see all the more interesting posts :)

Meanwhile ... I have some other stuff I need to hurry up and do (rather than trying to write Horribly long and boring blog posts :) so I will just Hang a photo (or 5 :) on Here and Hop off Hastily :)

Here - Have some ducks, that seemed to be in a Hurry to go somewhere :)






They just Happened to be Hurrying in the same direction as I was, one day when I was riding my bicycle to work (the fact that part of my ride is along the edge of the lake Helps provide incentive to ride, rather than drive, at least a couple times a week ... That, and it keeps me more fit and Healthy :)