Pages ... if I get around to it ...

Saturday, January 28, 2012

A Bad Beginning for a Bizarre Book?

This could be a Bad idea ... Because it could be totally Boring - But I was in the shower the other night and I had this Bizarre idea, for the Beginning of a Book, just kind of create itself in my head, so when I got out of the shower I wrote it down ... and then decided that it might be handy for my B post for ABC Wednesday ;-)

so ... Be ready to Be Baffled, Bored or Bugged - here it is:

Aguor sneezed. He could feel the hot redness rise up from his hairy chest, to the top of his ears, and back down, even redder and hotter - red enough to be seen on his hairy cheeks and neck - as he realised that what he had sneezed was now lying on the tablecloth, in a soggy wriggling lump. A hairbiter - black, with lots of legs. Thankfully his hosts were educated enough not to be too upset - enough to know that hairbiters and other pests could be caught by clean people, if they had to mix with those who were not. Normally he would have engaged the services of a groomer, with a well trained snufflecat ... but as he had not left the crowded and unclean city via the normal road, but rather, he had fled just a little too hastily by diving into the sacred pink lake of saltiness and swimming to the lonely temple, he had thought there was no need - and there should not have been - the salt kills hairbiters and other nasty hangers on. As he was bald from the top of his mouth, up over his ears, and down to the middle of his back, he had figured it did not matter that he had not totally submerged his head - but he had forgotten about the hairs growing inside his nose!

... pretty Bad, isn't it?

I am not quite sure why I started thinking of Book Beginnings ... I am fairly sure it may have Been Because I was thinking about the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest - a contest that, as it says on the website is "a whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels" ... the 2011 winners are here ;-)
To enter this in that contest, I would have to remove that first full stop and replace it with "and" ... and that would give me 3 lines of horribleness until the next full stop ;-)
(which possibly means I shouldn't put it on my blog yet? ... then again - seeing you are probably the only person actually reading this I don't think it matters anyway - LOL  ... besides ... now that this post has sat mostly written but not posted for a few days, and I submitted that Beginning to the contest in Between writing Bits of this post - can I get in trouble for plaigarising myself by posting it on my Blog after i sent in the entry? Besides ... what can they do - take away my Birthday?  ;-)

Talking about Books ... which I guess I wasn't - Because that B$^%^t up above is only the Beginning of an imaginary Book - I do actually know a couple of REAL authors, who DO know how to write books!
I met them both on the #CSIROTweetup and I have read stuff written by both of them and really liked it.

One is Claire Corbett (her website is here ) I have a copy of her book "When We Have Wings" but I have not had time to read it yet (although I have read the first chapter ;-)  and I also read a short story she wrote, one that is the idea her book is based on - that is here (click on the page numbers to see the pages and read it) ... as if I didn't already wish I could fly ... now that I have read that - I want to fly even more ... if that is possible! LOL

The other Author is Patty Jansen (her website is here ) She gave me one of her e-books (so I could read it and write a review of it ... which I did ... but not sure if I am any good at that sort of thing - lol) and she also has several other stories/etc available as e-books some are Here on Amazon (some of them are free ... and what ones are free seems to vary over time ;-) and she also has some on ... where they have a whole pile of different cheap and free e-books - some are full length books, others are short stories or even collections of poems/etc (I have downloaded and read a few of the free ones, including some by Patty, on my iPad ;-) I read them while I was away over Christmas. I also downloaded a heap more the other day ... not sure when I am going to get around to reading them all ... I have enough trouble getting around to posting stuff to my blog! LOL (this one sat, mostly done, as a draft for a few days ;-)

btw ... anyone want to write the next page of that silly story? ... could be interesting to see what happens next - lol

ps ... needed a photo 4 the ABC Wednesday link [andrea has a quick look 4 one] ah - this will do - something I had for tea one night a couple of weeks ago - how about a Beef Burger and a Beer?!


  1. I begin READING a lot of books that I never finish!

    ROG, ABC Wednesday team

  2. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm that burger and beer looks BEAUTIFUL! Shame I am on my diet!
    Great post - so detailed. We have the mobile library visit every Monday so I must make a list of books to read! Hmmmmmm now there's an idea.


Feel free to have your say ... I will read it eventually ... and maybe even answer you, if you asked a question ;-)