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Thursday, February 16, 2017

Falling Apart?

... and putting myself back together again :)

Yes - rather a strange title for a post, and rather a strange post for ABC Wednesday ... but I figured it was about time I started blogging again, because it is Fun ... and the subject/title Fits the letter F ... so I Figured I may as well risk Freaking everyone out and post about this ... er... stuff I am posting about :)

For a while now, possibly even most of my life, I have Felt, at times, a bit like I was a Failure ... after the last time life as I know it sort of Fell apart (when the person I had been married to for 25 years decided to just walk out without even discussing it) I was a bit of a mess For a while, but after that I Felt a bit better, and thought I was Finding myself ... Figured I was starting a new life, Found and bought a new house ... but then I still Found myself stuck in the same old job I had been in For way too long ... and I was not happy. I thought I would be Fine once I Found a new job ... but that kind of wasn't happening ... and then Finally, "the wheels Fell off" ... I had known I wasn't totally happy (but I was still having Fun doing a heap of things I liked ... possibly too many things? lol) ... and I knew I Felt a bit stressed and stuff ... but what I didn't know was that I had also probably been depressed ... I do now ... also realised that I possibly had been stressed and depressed for quite some time ... but hopefully that is now something that can be, and is being, fixed - now that I have Finally got the right sort of professional help ... which eventually happened this year, at the end of a rather long and messed up process involving my workplace, after I Found myself in the Fairly Frightening situation of getting in trouble at work, because I was so stressed/etc that I was no longer able to do my job properly - and so my world kind of Fell apart ... again (that was toward the end of last year - about when I wrote the last blog post, actually) ... but now that I am Finding out a Few more things about what makes me tick, I Feel that I will be Fine again in a while, when I have Finished Finding out about myself, and can then Finally Find myself :)

This is not meant to be a depressing post - things are a bit Freaky at the moment but I will be Fine :) 
- I am on a journey, and although I ended up on a Fairly rough road again For a while, hopefully I have now Found Four wheel drive so I can get over it, and will get a GPS to keep me on track to where I want to go, and I can be a "happy camper" again :)

... maybe I should have called this post "Finding Myself" ... but I might save that for next round, when I have Found out a bit more about myself, and what direction this bumpy road is taking me - lol
(one thing I do know, is these kind of things take time ... as a certain shampoo advert says: "It won't happen overnight, but it will happen" lol)

... Hmm ... who would have thought I would be blogging (or even talking) about Mental health conditions and myself all in the same story? ... and maybe I am a special kind of weird, telling the whole world about this stuff? ... but when I read somewhere that "in Australia, it is estimated that 45% of people will experience a mental health condition in their lifetime" - then I think it is something that SHOULD be talked about more often ... who knows ... one of the 2 or 3 people who might ever read my blog posts might read this and think "I wonder if this is my problem" or "I feel depressed" or " I am a bit stressed" and be wondering "do I need help?" Or "should I get help?" ... yes - you probably should! (if you seek help and find out you don't need it - is that a problem? ... but if you don't get help and did need it - that might not work out so well ...)
Maybe I should do "Help" for my H post? - lol
(in the meantime, just do a search for "stress" or "depression" or whatever - there is a lot of information online ... almost too much ... )

and yes, I know - I am kind of talking in riddles, and might not be making much sense ... I am sure I have mentioned this before: I am weird ... lol

In the near (ish?) Future, there might be a Few more blog posts about my Feelings and things, depending how I Feel about things - lol

 ... and hopefully also a Few posts about other, more Fun, things ... like maybe next week, for the letter G, I can talk about one of the Fun thing that has sort of helped keep me sane For the last Few years - Going Geocaching :)

(but don't panic if I don't post next week, or even For a Few weeks (months?) - I am disorganised at the best of times, and my busy life might get in the way - so I might not have time to write that post - in which case I will have to do that one next time around :)


One more F thing:
#foundit 
... If you search for that on Twitter, you will probably find a heap of my tweets (and quite possibly other people's tweets as well) about Geocaching :)

...now "eff off" and go read a more interesting "F" post :)

Unless you want to look at this Funny photo of me First - lol
(One Mum recently sent to me, scanned From the Family album, taken when I was Fairly young)



6 comments:

  1. Lovely and sweet photo ~ You have been through 'rejection' after being married 25 years ~ major changes in your life ~ Breathe and believe in your self ~ 'Happiness is an inside job.' ~ takes time ~ our society is a 2x2 one and when one is single it becomes a whole another world ~ believe in yourself ~ thanks,

    Wishing you a happy day ~ ^_^

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  2. Hi there you have been going through a very stressful time so you're bound to be feeling a little unhinged,,, So tell it as it is and you'll get over it, in time.... as you said 'it's my blog and I can sy what I like' so go on, I'll be back to see how you're doing...just one thing... take care,
    Best wishes,
    Di,
    ABCW team.

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  3. reading what you had to go through, all your feelings are logical.. Although so hard.

    I wish you all the best, that you soon will find peace within yourself and lots lots lots of joy in life.

    Have a nice ABC-Wednesday / _ Week
    ♫ M e l ☺ d y ♫ (abc=w=team)
    http://melodymusic.nl/abc-wednesday-20-f/

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  4. Tough times, wishing you find that inner child again of the photograph. Best wishes.

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  5. You're brave to share your story with the world. You've put a little fire in me to open up to my own feelings of grief and depression. For me being able to write about it, whether on my blog or in one of my notebooks, is the start for me to find myself again. Big hugs to you. I wish you the best.

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Feel free to have your say ... I will read it eventually ... and maybe even answer you, if you asked a question ;-)