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Friday, September 08, 2017

Instruction Manual? What Instruction Manual?

If there was an Instruction manual for me, It would be an Interesting read :)

... Unfortunately, when I was delivered, there wasn't one in the package.

So ... I guess I just have to figure it all out as I go ... I have read/watched a lot of online tutorials on how related models of human operate ... In other words - reading blogs and watching YouTube videos posted by other Aspies/Autistic people :)

Between that, and things I have learnt from talking with psychologists/etc, I am discovering, or learning reasons behind, all sorts of Interesting things about myself ... In some ways I have become my own science experiment ... I am finding a lot of this self discovery to be rather Intriguing :)

And ... the other day ... er ... a few weeks ago actually ... I sort of came up with something that is not quite Instructions, but is the beginnings of what is maybe a basic set of standard operating procedures ... which would be nice if people actually followed them ... 

Everyone deserves respect.
Please treat me like a normal person.
I am an adult, who has been to university (I have a Diploma of Applied Science), travelled, served in the Army, married, had (and brought up) children, gone back to work, divorced, rebuilt my life, fallen apart, and put myself together again.
I am artistic and creative,
I am intelligent 
(My IQ is probably higher than most people's)
I am fit and active,
I care about people,
I am willing and able to work hard,
I am loyal and honest,
... and I also happen to be Autistic.

So ... while I am fairly good at pretending I am completely "normal" there may be times when I come across as slightly odd, and I do sometimes have problems with communication - sometimes I might say the wrong thing, or not think to say something I should, or I may get excited about something and interrupt. Or I might not understand, or even totally misunderstand, something you say to me, or something I say may not make sense, or not mean what you think I said ... I know that sometimes happens, and I would prefer you to talk with me about it - point out to me if I have made a mistake - so that I can do something about it, or clarify what I meant if you don't like or are not sure about something I said or did - so we can understand each other better ... rather than have you be upset, treat me badly or complain about me to someone else ...

(It actually wasn't that difficult to work out those, now that I have worked out at least some of what went so wrong at work last year - I just had to think of the things that were done to me/not done for me ...)

I also tend to use way too many words to say things ... lol

and ... I am sure I did this last time we were up to the letter I for ABC Wednesday ... here are a couple of other Interesting? things about me ...


I have always been Indecisive, but now I am not so sure ...

Actually - I am sure of that one ... another Aspie trait, I believe ... my problem is - I always want more Information before I can decide ... for example "Tea or coffee?" ... Well ... It depends If It Is Icky Instant coffee or you have real coffee that you make with a coffee machine or plunger ... and if the only tea you have is peppermint or some other equally disgusting flavour, or if you have normal tea, or a variety I will actually willingly Ingest.
... sometimes I gather a lot of information but I am still too confused to decide, and sometimes I take so long to decide on something that the decision is made for me ...
(Usually quite Irritating and/or Inconvenient)

Interestingly enough ... I had decided on something for this post a week or more before we were up to the letter I for ABC Wednesday ... I had an Idea in the shower ... and by the time I got out of the shower It had become 2 Ideas ... But I don't have to decide, because there is room for both ... In fact there is room for more than that - I added something else to the start of this post as well - another thing I "wrote" most of in my head while I was in the shower one night :)

Yes - I am an Interesting Individual!

... And I am usually quite happy to tell people why ... because I am an Individual ... and because I also happen to be Autistic ... 
But I sometimes get a quite irritating response to telling people that ... why do so many people Insist on saying something like this?:

"Oh, but we are all on the spectrum somewhere"


I have a neurological difference that most people would not want themselves or their children to have, and that is usually referred to as a "condition" or a "disorder" ... and you want to Identify with that? ... how Intrigueing ... and totally Illogical ... 

Maybe next time someone says that, I should reply with:

"Yes, I guess we are - if the spectrum you are talking about is the one where at one end is Informed/educated and at the other end is uninformed/Ignorant ... we are on opposite ends of that one, but if you have a few spare minutes I am happy to help you Inch a little bit further up towards my end ..."

I am quite happy to Inform people on topics I am familiar with ... being helpful is Intrinsic to my nature :)

So ... you are confused why my crazy brain Insisted on posting about so many I things, rather than saving some for next time around the alphabet?

So am I ... but I gave up and went with it ... LOL

... don't panic - I am sure I can think of plenty more ... not sure if everyone will like them all ... I guess it depends what I come up with for words like "Icky" and "illness" ... mind you, I could come up with a few Icky things to write about for a few otherwise Innocuous words as well :)

The hard part will be working out what to write for J next week ... or finding time to write it ... there are/will be things happening, that I will want to write about ... but until they do happen I won't know how they go, to know WHAT to write ... Cryptic? ... Yes ... you will Just have to wait and see ... 

In the meantime, here is a photo of myself being an Idiot yesterday :)

... a silly selfie I took with my iPad - for some (not so) secret Geocaching business :)

And ... an Interesting thing that "fell out of my pencil" this evening ...

Maybe it is just because I think I feel that way, but to me the face in the drawing looks a little bit uncertain and Insecure ... I guess the drawing could mean anything anyone wants it to - I don't even know what it means and I drew the darn thing!