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Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Turning point?

Have I reached a Turning point?

maybe? ... I hope so ...

A few months ago I just felt confused, and Terrible, and have since spent some Time Trying to sort out my messy mind ... Over The last week or 2 a few people I know have commented that I seem better, more settled, even different ... and yes - I feel a bit less frightened and stressed, and a couple of Things that a month or 3 ago would have sent me into yet another Tailspin of obsession and anxiety are actually not worrying me Too much ...

Although I am slightly worried that this is just an up before the next down ... a lot of my recovery (from the stress disorder) has, so far, been Two steps forward, one step back ... but ... maybe Things are going ok - There is progress, and even if There is a setback, I have survived so far - I am Tough (resilient? stubborn? "D: all of the above"? :) ... so if I fall down, I will just do as I have always done - pick myself up and Try again :)

My parents are down here visiting me (arrived Sunday) and Tonight (Saturday night actually - I wrote this post in the wee small hours of Sunday :) I was Talking to Mum, and she said I seemed different ... different than I had been for many years (maybe even forever) ... and yes ... I guess I do feel a bit different ... I Think ... lol
Possibly I have been way more stressed, for way longer than I ever realised? ... and I know that, despite knowing there are some things I am quite good at, I have had quite low self esteem for as long as I can remember ... but Mum said now I seem more confident ... 
... hmm ... maybe I am?
Maybe now that I know myself a bit better, and know why I have had Trouble with the Things that have been problems for me - I now don't feel so bad about myself, and can be proud of who I am, and how well I have done while spending my life feeling like I have been fighting an invisible enemy ... (who is now my friend :)
Maybe my diagnosis (and learning more about what it means for me) has given me the serenity I needed to accept the things I can't change, and to change the things I can?

Where once stood a confused and frightened nobody, now stands a proud Aspie :)

... Andrea the Aspie:
awkward but amazing,
weird and wonderful,
peculiar ... and proud!
Terrible at some things, yet Talented at others ...

... Time to be True to myself :)

... Typical - couldn't Think what to write for my ABC Wednesday letter T post - and Then one just kind of wrote itself in my head while I was having my shower - lol
(However Trying To Take a nice selfie To go in here was another matter - I ended up resorting To "here is one I prepared earlier" (Two photos, Taken with self Timer Thingy, on Top of a hill a few days ago:)

And ... because I can - another photo I just Took:

Some sewing ... On left: something I started Today, on right: what I should be working on :)


  1. As I, for many years now, try to live as good as possible with my "youknowwhat", I know how life in it self can be a huge truggle. I keep my fingers crossed and hope that you indeed have reached that turningpoint, definately also.

    Have a nice ABC-day / week
    Melody (team ABC-W)
    Preview Round 21 starting july 12th :

  2. You are EARLY this week! Hope your visit works out.


  3. I don't know much about the 'A' word, but I do know that we all need to do what is best for ourselves when we are struggling. Good on you for the progress you have made! It's so promising when other people notice.


Feel free to have your say ... I will read it eventually ... and maybe even answer you, if you asked a question ;-)